DodgingBullets

Ash: Ah it is my tenth birthday, it's day when I'm finally grown up enough to embark on my epic journey to become the champion of cock fighting, I mean Pokémon.

in another room

Ash's mom: Ah finally the day have come when I can legally kick my son out of the house, then I can take up dating again. Since Ash father died in the horrific Nindorino accident I haven't felt the touch of a man. In another words, let get down to busniess!

later...

Ash: Mom!... MOOOOOM!

Ash's mom: What the fuck you still doing here! Get out of my house you little creep!

Ash: But moooom! I don't know where I supposed to go to get my first Pokimon!

Ash's mom: Proffesor Oak Penis got them over at his lab, or house I don't if he lives anywhere in this town actuall, and if isn't there go wander out in the tall grass. Maybe you'll find a Pokémon there.

Ash: Okay, bye mom!

Ash's mom: Fuck off!

later in the grass...

Ash: OAK PENIS!

Oak: What are you doing here boy, it dangerous to go alone, take this.

Ash: ... This is wooden sword...

Oak: Oh sorry, I meant beware of strangers that offers you free Pokémons.

Ash: ...

Oak: Wanna come back to my lab for a free Pokémon?

Ash: Fuck yes!

later in the lab

Gary: Gramps free the fuck you've been, supposed to give a Pokémon today so I can beat up Ass-Face... Oh hi Ass-Face!

Oak: Ah grandson... Um what's you're name again?

Ash: It's Fucktard.

Oak: Ah yes, why hello there Fucktard, just you wait Ash is going to pick his Pokémon first so you can pick the pokémon that will have an advantage.

Fucktard: What the fuck gramps?... Fuck and thank you?

Oak: Wanna know why I called Oak Penis?

Ash pondering on which Pokémon to chose.

Ash: Hmm... What this Pokémon in the middle?

Oak: That's a squrtile, a water type Pokémon, if you chose that Fucktard will choose Bulbasaur.

Ash: Hmm... What this Pokémon in the middle?

Oak: That's a squrtile, a water type Pokémon, if you chose that Fucktard will choose Bulbasaur.

Fucktard: Just pick it!

Ash: Hmm... What this Pokémon in the middle?

Oak: That's a squrtile, a water type Pokémon, if you chose that Fucktard will choose Bulbasaur.

Fucktard: If you're chosing I'm going to chose!

Ash: I chose squrtile!

Fucktard: And I'll take Charizard!

Oak: Oh sorry Fucktard, I chose him.

Fucktard: ... I fucking hate you gramps.

Ash: Well I'll be to thrash the gym leader in Virdian City.

Oak: Um, yeah he's only challengeable when you've gotten all the other seven badges, I suggest you go around the country first and then face that gym leader.

Ash: Seems only logically, bye!

Fucktard: Wait Ass-Face, battle me and let's who has the best Pokémon.

Ash: Okay, but have in mind that you're Bulbasaur hasn't learned any grass moves yet, and Squirtile has tali-whip inlearnt from the start.

Fucktard: ... FUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

later after a long and boring battle between two low-level pokémons.

Ash: Yay!

Fucktard: Kill me...

Oak: Do we eat meat even though there is no real animals, and if so which Pokémons do we slaughter for their sweet meat?

And that concludes the frist episode in Pokémon- Weird Version.